Even though it only won one of the six events in the annual Noble's Tournament, Eastwyck regained its title and the possession of the Golden Shield in what was the closest Tournament ever.

Eastwyck ended up with 22.5 points, half a point ahead of Capulus and Westmarch, who tied for second with 22 each. Cumberland with its new Baron was far behind with 15.5 points.

"I am very proud of all my baronies," Stated Prince Basil Ravenhurst "The closeness of the result shows that they all tried very hard and are all worthy of a win."

The close loss was disappointing to both Capulus and Westmarch. In the 590 Tournament Capulus lost to Eastwyck by the slimmest margin, and in the 591 Tournament Westmarch lost to Cumberland by a similar small amount.

The Tournament began with the Colors Competition. There was a parade from the keep to the Tourney Field, and each team presented themselves to the Prince. First Place went to Capulus who paraded onto the field wearing the bloodstained armor and carrying the ripped banner that they had flown during their war with the Sessuar. Baron Sagramore presented the Prince with the heads of "The last remaining Sessuar in Capulus." Eastwyck marched in step to a drum accompaniment and held themselves proud and high as Baron Alaric produced his first competing team.

For the first time, Westmarch did not win the Colors Competition, but placed third. "They had the best clothes as usual." stated the Prince, "but they did not have the presence or presentation of either Eastwyck or Capulus."

Not surprisingly the Combat Competition went to Capulus, with second place to Eastwyck. Though not as exciting as last year's continuous tied score between Cumberland and Westmarch, this match was indeed captivating.

The Entertainment Competition has always been the Prince's favorite and the competition got off to a wonderful start as Lord Aquilon and two assistants performed a ceremonial dance which involved many acrobatics and the juggling of many weapons. The applause was tremendous. However the first place award went to Eastwyck who performed a skit which poked fun at the Capuluans, Barnum, Blakeny, and themselves. Westmarch performed a similar skit about a baronial council which featured characters like "Duke Oregano Raisinbread," and, "Roaring Blankly."

Many thought that Capulus should have won Entertainment, but the Prince pointed out that the rules of the competition state that although it is allowed to use performers who are not part of the competing team, doing so may count against you. Eastwyck used its entire team, while Capulus had only one team member, and two non team members.

Cumberland did not participate in the Entertainment portion of the competition, but with the skills of Master Archer Squire Gryphon they were able to place first in the Archery competition with the highest target score of any team ever in the Tournament. Westmarch was second, and Eastwyck was third.

After this competition, Capulus was in first place with 17 points, Eastwyck was second with 15, Westmarch third, with 12, an Cumberland last with 10. the only remaining competitions were Riddles and the Hunt.

The Hunt had been progressing for a day and a half and Westmarch had kept its early lead. Capulus and Eastwyck were vying for second place and as items were turned in, the results would fluctuate as to who was in second.

At this point the teams started relying on their strategy. Cumberland realized that even if they won both the Riddles and the Hunt, they would still lose the Tournament. They began helping their allies in Capulus to gain hunt items. Westmarch, in retaliation began working with Eastwyck, figuring that at least one of the two could win.

The Riddles competition went to Westmarch, but a tie for second place between Cumberland and Eastwyck could not be resolved, (Lord Montfern ran out of Riddles to ask!) Both teams agreed to a tie, so the points were divided equally.

Capulus and Eastwyck both realized that they had to win at least second place in the Hunt in order to win the Tournament. Westmarch could only win at this point if Cumberland placed second in the Hunt, and Cumberland was in last place. A few items turned in at the last moment by Eastwyck with Westmarch's help pushed Eastwyck into second place in the Hunt, and thus won them the Tournament.

As predicted, Westmarch placed first in the hunt, and won first place in all of the superlative items except the "Most Orc Tongues" (Won, Not surprisingly by Capulus..)

The tournament results produced many "ifs". If Westmarch had done slightly better in Colors, it would have won. If Capulus had won Entertainment, it would have won. If Westmarch had not helped Eastwyck in the Hunt, Capulus would have won. If Cumberland had defeated Eastwyck in Riddles instead of tying, there would have been a three way tie for first place.

Because of the tremendous amount of work the Baronial Households put into the Tournament, they will return to being Bi-ennial.

The Hunt is possibly the silliest, but most interesting part of the Tournament, as it is so unpredictable. Participants this year were required to produce a live frog, a flying kite, a G string (from a guitar), and since it was primarily a scavenger Hunt, a Scavenger.

Watching the nobility begging for coppers to get the 200 required and attempting to get 10 Lords to leap at the same time provided many laughs.

There were also puzzled items. A number of "Lines" appeared on the list. (The starting line, the clothes line, the Punch line, etc.) Each of these lines were a puzzle that if solved correctly, would lead you to the "bottom line" but unfortunately no one solved that particular item.

Two anagrams were also present. "The blue-red king door" became "Look under the bridge." and "the Ravenholt Sage's Cap II" became "search under the pavilion stage." There was also a hidden message in the design on the back of a word puzzle, an the word puzzle, when solved, would reveal the answers to two other hunt items.

The Worst Sessuar Joke received a large groan when told by Lady Cynesra of Westmarch: "It seems the Sessuar had a diabolical plan to wrap the armies of Capulus in shiny silver paper. Luckily, this plan was foiled."

Second place went to Lady Mirabilis' entry for Eastwyck: "Why did the Sessuar fall out of the tree? Because it was DEAD!"

Third place went to Baron Sagramore's entry for Capulus: "How many Sessuar does it take to kill a Capulan? You'll Never Know."

The Best Limerick About Joseph Saxony" also produced many laughs when read by Sir Johann:

"Its well known that our Joe likes croquet.
Its the game that he most likes to play,
He roams through the halls,
With his hands on his balls,
With one stroke, he blows nobles away."

Each item on the Hunt list was worth 5 points to the first team that turns it in, 4 points to the second team, and so on. The final score for the Hunt was:

Westmarch 111 points
Eastwyck 93 points
Capulus 89 points
Cumberland 64 points

On Friday May 22nd, a meteorite containing a creature called Primus crashed in Ravenholt. Before the weekend was over, he had declared war on the town. That night, the meteor crashed outside the tavern. Heralds ran about frantically alerting the town. As the townsfolk crowded around the meteorite, a strange creature emerged from it. He resembled a Lizard man, but was of much larger build. His weapon was a huge stone polearm, which was later found to require three people to lift the huge thing.

The creature communicated it name to the crowd assembled, and then learned the common language in about an hour. He seemed to have an enormous charisma around other lizard men.

In fact the Old Lizard Man King named Primus the new king. As he traveled around town with the citizens as his guides, he learned much about the local culture.

The following day, he and his guards formally challenged the Duke and his Champions to honor combat. As the fight broke out, well over a thousand lizard men of all types poured out of the lake, The Prince, Viscount Colin Turing, and Baron Alaric of Eastwyck were just a few of those who fell in this heated battle. Towards evening, the fighting died down and the lizard men returned to the lake. Primus, however, is still alive and quite probably nearby. This war seems far from over.

Already, although it is hard to pinpoint how many deaths are directly attributable to the war, over 150 deaths have been reported at the Healer's Guild since Primus' arrival.

Primus claims to be from far beyond the outer reaches of the sky, and to have been sent away from his planet by his people. He dislikes Necromancy and appears to have a strong resistance to celestial magic. His race is called the "reptilions." These are a race of very strong, and very intelligent lizard men. His charm over the local lizard men is apparently because they are his ancient ancestors. Late Saturday night one of Primus' elite guards was attacked and he immediately declared war on Ravenholt.

Bottom of the Barrel

Recently I have noticed a real decline in the quality of one of our noble groups. You all know who I am talking about.. Cumberland.

One could easily tell by their poor performance at the tournament. They threw their banners together at the last second and looked like a horde of drunken goblins at Colors.

By the way, if you're a no-talent fool, Cumberland will probably take you in.

Organization within the group is poor. Baron André is leaving it up to his squires and lower members to clean up a mess, and its beginning to overbear them. A word of advice to the Baron: Get Organized!

~ Anonymous

What is this town coming to?! There are frogs, Everywhere!

It is a sad day in Ravenholt when innocent citizens have to war with these vile amphibians to keep the peace! Its not safe for my kids to play near the lake anymore.. Well.. Granted I don't have kids, and I don't see many tykes running about near the lake, but that's not the point! I was walking to the keep, minding my own business when all of a sudden, hordes of frogs leapt out and attacked me! I fought bravely of course but they must have been the greatest warriors, because I was beaten.

Regardless, about twenty minutes after getting resurrected, I was attacked again, and my arm got eaten by a big slimy frog, and let me tell you, no matter what they say, it's almost impossible to put your armor on with only one hand.

But, you'll be glad to know, my arm was restored by a certain sarr who shall remain nameless, (since I don't know his name.)

I also heard reports of giant frogs bounding out of the forest and eating Houses! What will Ravenholt do to keep this menace to a low murmur? Is nothing sacred? !

A Concerned Citizen

Send your letters to the Editor to the Raven's Herald. Your letter must have your name on it, but you can use a pseudonym if you are a coward.

Within the past few weeks, there has been a sudden outbreak of mysterious and unexplained attacks on the citizens of the duchy.

The first notice came from just outside the town of Haven, where the local death toll, which was high to begin with, shot up sharply. These deaths are considered strange because nothing was stolen from the victims. Those who survived the attacks spoke of shadowy humanoid creatures that appeared out of nowhere.

Baron Andre deSudbyr commented that the events will be investigated, but he suspects a gang of cutthroats to be responsible. Later reports from Garson's Bridge and Sercia told of similar attacks on their citizens. No reports of these creatures appearing in the town of Ravenholt have come in yet, but all citizens are warned to keep an eye out for anything suspicious and report such things to their liege.

An epidemic has laid low half of the population of Garson's Bridge. Their Healer's Guild has been kept busy day and night, dealing with the sickness as best they can, there not being enough Purify Blood spells to go around. They have sent a request to Ravenholt for extra Healers.

The source of the sickness was discovered to be due to pollutants in the water. Speculation as to the cause of these pollutants varies greatly. Some believe it is due to the meteor still in the water upstream in Ravenholt. Others feel it is from the decaying corpses of cannibals which were thrown into the lake. One woman claims that it is "Probably poisons placed in the water by necromancers. "

Asked about his opinion in the matter, Lord Diodotus Brynlydon of Garson's Bridge was heard to say," I doubt it had anything to do with the meteor; as far as we know, the circle of protection is still in place around it."

SAGE: It seems that I am not the only one looking for your hide. You made a bad mistake attacking Baron André. One morning you will be waking up in the Healer's Guild.

CITIZENS OF RAVENHOLT! : (Alaric especially) Had you eaten my full breakfast delight, I would not have been turned into a zombie. I fear I must hold you responsible.
~ Arthur C. Flapjack` "The Blimp of Chaos"

Westmarch: My thanks for a glorious night of adventures retold. I only hope to be invited again to regale all present with new tales.
~ Genji Aka, the slimy, nasty, evil, worm eaten whatever.

Eastern Traitors: We come to complete the repayment of an old debt. Enjoy your remaining moments of your life.
~ The Guild

Help Make Up More Stuff About People That Isn't True!

Yes, you too can make up lies about the influential folk in town by working here at the Raven's Herald. If there is any ruckus caused by this, we will simply tell the offended party that we have no idea what they are talking about, and give them your address. Join Now!! I can't talk forever you know! Talk to Tashe the Pink

Many thanks to the maker of fine Merrihart Ale. Although it almost got my friend and I killed, we thank you anyway.
~ Squire Eric.

I'M BACK! ~ Randiron

Public Defender For Hire! My name is Gideon Kaninger, the best legal specialist in all of Ravenholt! To locate me, look for my appointment list in the tavern or come to my office.

A gigantic odiferous earthworm terrorized the Healer's Guild this month. It rumbled through the entire town underground and surfaced in front of the Healer's Guild Circle. Apparently the creature was attracted to magic, although it was unclear why it headed for the Healer's Guild and not the Mage's Guild unless it was a worm of discriminating palate.

The worm was reported to be killed more than once, but like its much smaller relation, this worm appeared to continue to live on in segments. It is not known for certain if it was ever killed with finality.

"I stepped in some worm poop, it was really annoying." said Faxton Ash Wednesday of Capulus. "Obviously another foul mutation caused by the imbalance of necromancy and healing, and it surfaced at the site of the greatest sore caused by this.. But then, that is just a hypothesis. Perhaps it was due to the failed attempt of Collanis and myself to Obliterate Primus." The validity of Mr. Wednesday's theories was not even attempted to be verified.

This edition dedicated LeQ, the kissing bandit.

Apologies for last month's column; that pesky imp got into the works again, this time insulting Lord Montfern. . . Sorry, My Lord.

After his recent tournament victory, Baron André was borne aloft by cheering warrior maidens. Apparently this looked like so much fun that Lady Cynesra took a page from his book and had two lovely knights act as her litter bearers and carry her to the keep on a shield. March on Sexual Equality!!

Disclaimer: Seductra Knows is a syndicated column of the Raven's Herald and does not necessarily reflect the views of anyone, including Seductra Blondestarr.

Toymaker popped the question to Kaleigh. The wedding is set for September. Unfortunately congratulations cannot be offered to the bride to0 be as TM has chastity-warded her into the cabin.

Lost and Found: The loft of treason.

I think its cute that "Lord" A still has Unicorn Dreams..

A certain Morvranian in the Royal Army is crazy about everyone's favorite "Discount" or may be she's just Crazy? . .

A nymph was recently hear to claim that Count Andros was "important".

Bok-tosh the sarr was all over a certain human girl and had to be pulled off her like a duck off a june bug.

Wedding bells for Emerald Sarr and her bodyguard Shatter after a mint night at Fantasia.

Vallen, Collanis, and Ash are forming a group called the Necromancer's Reform Association. The NRA will help to prevent necromancy before it starts. Baron Alaric will be providing moral support for the group, which is funny since Vallen is forbidden to see him by her court.

Damon, head of the Healer's Guild is set to marry Madame Zara in August.

Collanis and Vallen's wedding is off; See Alaric for details.

Count Andros passed out in Fantasia. . . What's the boy been drinking anyway?

Sir Johann has left Westmarch to baby sit for Shardon. When did she have a baby?

Also the Barnum's been thrown out of Westmarch and has joined Capulus which he can do because he is not a sarr.

There's a female dwarf in town looking for love potions so she can start her own harem...I mean Kingdom.

We hear Tanya's expecting a bouncing baby claw sometime soon.

Analogy time! ________ is to Nymphs and Elephant is to Mice.

Answer: Collanis!

Altair is back from her trip abroad and is undergoing Cumberland culture shock. Also, someone dusted the Cumberland cabin with Garlic Powder. Of Course, Baron André didn't mind this at all.

The Healer's Guild is absolutely positively NOT running a brothel upstairs. I know this for a fact because several different people have told me that this is NOT the case. Nosiree! I just want to crush any ugly rumors before they start.

Dantan acquired a wife via the shoelace and Meathead continues to be in sizzling heat!

That is it! see you next time!

Love, LSB (Mwah!) Be sure to send your gossip to me at the paper!!

Greetings once again as I am consumed with envy over clothes that don't belong to me.

I think you will find surprisingly little about the Tournament in this column, but there was so much to see all around town that I simply couldn't dedicate myself to just that.

So far as the tournament goes, it is true that the Capulans looked especially good. it may seem out of place to mention their banner as well, but how can I help it when it was so stylish? I loved the opposing color effect on certain of their tabards, with the reversal of the rim and the shield on the chest ~ blue to black, and vice-versa. Very well done! I can't say I was disappointed that they won the colors portion of the tournament since they very much deserved to. So, you big blue beautiful boys, not to mention the rest of Capulus (because of the overwhelming impression of the first, it's hard to remember that not all of them are the same size or sex!) You All looked magnificent!

I would also like to mention how much I appreciated the outfits chosen for the combat portion of the tournament by certain members of Eastwyck. It can be quite easy on the eyes to see men dressed (or is it undressed?) for the summertime. I am not being biased when I mention that Ehawk looked especially nice in his fur loincloth and body war paint. Many of those near me on the tourney field agreed. I must admit, though to a great curiosity about those bloomer-like shorts that Nork had on. They were stylish, I think, well at least I couldn't take my eyes off of them... but I couldn't figure out quite what they were or what I thought of them for certain.

I was pleased to see what Sludge's pooka bear was wearing in a stunning display of good taste; not just Eastwyck's colors, but additionally what I consider to be My colors, black and bright pink. ( this last on a flower no less!) Let me mention that Sludge himself goes quite well with Eastwyck's colors. How many people can say that their actual skin tone coordinates with their Barony's colors?? A rare breed indeed!

Incidentally I find Meathead to be very complimentary color to myself. Which reminds me, there ought to be a top ten list of hairstyles alone.

Altair would like to differ with my comments on shapely armor. Just because I prefer form fitting flexible protection, I don't mean to imply that I think less of other options, For myself, I would feel like a barrel, only able to roll down hills and attempt slaying people as I spun by. This is just because my body disagrees with many other armor choices.

It is of course all a matter of taste. Altair looks quite pleasing in her straight-to-the waist plate mail, and I thought the attached skirting was an especially nice touch. Judging by appearances? I would apologize, but this IS after all a Fashion column.

Among my many impressions while journeying through Ravenholt: I am not sure, what her personal choices of colors would be, but Vallen does justice to the tight waisted yet blousey look. As always André looked particularly good. That checkered tabard was tasty in the extreme. He can't help but make a woman's heart beat faster. Collanis must be doing a brisk business with his "You too can be Baroness of Cumberland" applications.

Also I liked the mix and match effect with certain baronies wearing small tokens of each other's colors. Of course, a sweeping tip of the hat to Scarlet, the man with the beautiful studded leather armor of the same color. Lastly let me emphasize my undying admiration for Count Andros, and Gabrielle( though her idea of inconspicuous clothing continues to escape me. )

Thanks for lending me a piece of your short attention spans Please send more ale! Love and kisses, Tashe

This month's advice column is answered by Baron Aurora Blakeny

Dear Advice,

Please help me! In the past month I have fallen madly in love with a certain sarr. Unfortunately, I am elven, and I think she holds that against me. I hav4e bought her many gifts, and have devoted every minute to her, but she says I am harassing her. Now to get rid of me, she tells me that she is mating with someone else, which I know for a fact she isn't, because I watch her every minute. My frends tell me to give up on this graceful feline. Save me from this torment!

Unloved.

Dear Unloved,

First you should cross reference your evidence to make sure your assumption is correct. If we can assume that what she says is absolutely correct, then it is unfortunate, but it seems as though you will have to go your separate ways. Sometimes a bottle of Westmarch wine helps. Or maybe its your wardrobe. By the way, to relieve frustration, chopping down a tree with your axe is very helpful.

Dear Advice,

Why do all the women that I am attracted to already have husbands, and Magic Armors up?

Desperate and Frustrated

Dear D&F,

It is most unfortunate, but men who tend to be considerate, romantic, handsome, understanding, and completely trustworthy are almost impossible to find. Therefore, those that exist are snatched up rather quickly. I assume the same is true for women.

However, your main problem here is this: no one should ever interfere with a married couple. Marriage is a legal contract between two people that should always be honored (Unless of course the man is completely dishonorable, or the marriage was not arranged by the couple.)

Dear Advice,

Me big Barbarian. Me want big woman who likes to wrestle bear, and wrestle bare. Every time me find big woman me like, she crit slay me. What me do?

X

Dear X,

Take fighting lessons.

Send in your questions today!!